Hey dude over there
Browsing in B and Q
I like your big derrière
And the way contemplate your tools
You got what I’m looking for
So baby imma gonna flirt
It’s all bought and paid for
Peeking out below your shirt

I can tell that your diet don’t skimp on bread
Butter me up with your middle aged spread

I love your dad bod, baby
Come sweat over me
Let me sink into your loving
And your beer belly
I love your dad bod, baby
And all of your curves
I’ll motorboat your man-boobs
While I cling to your girth

Yeah get chunky
Get a Kit Kat chunky
Get one for me while you’re up, will ya?

Keep your skinny guys
It’s the thicc boys that get me pleased
With a belly bigger than your eyes
And a greater risk of heart disease
There’s hair growing up your back
And receding from your brow
And I hope it covers all your legs
When I come to pull your sweat pants down

Your waist-line’s a plus sign
So please let me say
Never sign up for a couch to 5k

I love your dad bod, baby
Let me feed you a pie
I’ll top you up with Guinness
Just to keep you satisfied
I love your dad bod, baby
Come give me a kiss
I can’t get my rocks off
With no bronzed Adonis

Oh, I love your Dad bod, baby
Did you used to work out?
You ever wanna share a pizza
Gimme a shout
You know what I like
Round from the neck down
James Corden type
I don’t discriminate
You could be in your 40s or 78
Don’t think you won’t see me in the club though
B&Q OAP club! Wednesdays! Discount!
Yo! Yo!

Your shallow breathing
Stops my heart from beating
I found my eden in aisle seventeen, and
Baby we’ll french kiss
Here among the drill bits
I’ll nail you, I’ll nail you in B&Q...

As soon as you open your mouth to talk
I realise that you’re such a crashing bore

But still I love your dad bod, baby
Not your tracker mortgage
Don’t want to hear your troubles
With your ex-wife and your kids
I love your dad bod, baby
But you’re boring me now
Excuse me can you help me
Where can I find the trowels?
Browsing in the B&Q
Browsing in the B&Q
Browsing in the B&Q